New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Years to all blog readers and participants.

In keeping with the spirit of the season, I am setting forth three modest resolutions for myself:

1. To become Barack Obama's 1,500,000th friend on myspace. He's currently at nearly 1,100,000, so I'll have to watch his myspace every day to make sure I hit this just right. But with everybody around me myspacing, facebooking, twittering, poking, prodding, zombeeing, watching, "what I'm doing at this exact instance"ing... it's time for me to get on the bandwagon.

Alternately, I could just go out and find 1,000,000 people to push a button and be my friend. One or the other.

2. I resolve to go to Wal-Mart and leave inappropriate messages on every, single recordable Valentine's Day greeting card. You know the ones... push a button, leave your message of love. Well, they'll start with mine. This is going to take a few hours to pull off, and I'll need to avoid being thrown out of the store... but if it were easy, then it would be everybody's goal, right?

3. We will be working hard as a Southern Crew to get Joel and Erika on a Von Trapp Family-like whistle system. This will be much easier and more effective than actually using their names for the next year. One short whistle for the big one, two long whistles for the little one.

Other than that, it's just gonna be us being us in 2009. Actually kinda looking forward to it.

Fighting Crime In Gotham

What you are looking at is a flashing sign that our local police department has had downtown through and following Christmas. The idea is that we should not leave our Christmas loot laying around in the backseat where passers by might covet and steal.

While I appreciate the concern the police force has for the kids' new digital cameras and my tea-maker, we live in the city ranked 2nd for most violent crimes in America. I would probably rather see flashers aimed toward solving that problem, assuming these flashers are, in fact, effective reminders. Off the top of my head, I might suggest:

MPD SAYS... HUG IT... DON'T MUG IT

MPD SAYS... LIFE IT... DON'T KNIFE IT

MPD SAYS... FRUIT IT... DON'T SHOOT IT

I would go on, but I can't seem to think of anything that rhymes with METH LAB EXPLOSION.

The thing I like best about this flashing message of wisdom is that it is exactly seven words long. Putting those words across three flashes may, of course, have led to one or two traffic accidents, but it's the spirit of the thing that counts.

Home(ish)

We made it home from Cali late Friday night. The kids had to make a quick turnaround to head up to Indiana Saturday morning to spend a late Christmas + New Years w/ that side of the family. Despite the weather and jet-lag, sounds like the trip went well.

As you can see from the picture, the group is not a bunch of little kids anymore.

My New Years plans are still undetermined. Watch the network coverage of the ball dropping in some metropolis and you might see me out there braving the weather for my 15 seconds of fame. Yeah right. I'll be inside somewhere where it is warm and cozy.

Twofur

Two posts in one day...

The kids and I are back in Cali for vacation. We arrived yesterday.

Going back to the seven word updates, here is mine from yesterday's travel:

Snow in Vegas... Global warming strikes again

As it turns out, Erika just wishes there were snow in California. Never quite sure how she ended up my kid, but we're working on it.

PS: This is Erika, snow is awesome, and i do not know how this is my dad who doesn't like snow(-:

New Newz!

Ok, so a blog that only updates every 6 months isn't really a blog... it's more of a periodical. But here goes.

From the latest school news, tryouts for Annie are finished. Our girl made it big!

The Trip Continues

My Update:

Shopping and Swimming, Kids Never Coming Home


From Erika... aka Swimming-Girl:

Love you a lot... have face mask.


My Thoughts About Joel at this exact moment:

Lost Phone Charger? Again? Forgetfulness is genetic.

Yesterday In Cali...

Joel's 7 Word Entry:

We Saw Journey to Center of Earth.

Seven Words

With due acknowledgement to the Webbie Awards (where winners' acceptance speeches are limited to 5 words) and to the Ig Noble Awards (where scientists have to explain their research in 7 words), we will be updating the blog on Joel and Erika's trip to California via 7 word updates.

My first update:

Security Found Gatoraid: Kids Attempt Federal Crime

Ummm... Owiee

So sorry this is the first update in a long time. There are a bunch of updates, however, besides the unsettling pictures you see.

Erika has made the school musical... she's in the Flower Chorus of Alice in Wonderland.

Joel has celebrated his 12th birthday... so much fun.

Regarding the accident, there will be more details as I learn them. I promised pictures... here are a few. More to come. (I'm not sure why these are coming out turned 90 degrees off... but I can't seem to change them this evening.)

Top Ten List

Due to sensitivites expressed by one nine year old girl, the following is a list of the Top Ten things this blog entry was NOT allowed to be titled:

10) Brace Face

9) Metal Mouth

8) Railroad Tracks

7) What Radio Stations Can We Get?

6) The iErika

5) Owieeeeee

4) Erika, Now In High Definition

3) We Don't Need A Charger Anymore

2) Portable Radios

and the Number 1 Title this blog was NOT allowed to be given is....

1) A New Southern Crew Can Opener

Continued Interaction W/ The Girl Child

I sent her a joke (which I will include, with the following caveat: Don't hate me because I'm funnier than you are). She responded... and the following was the result.

Start with the joke from me:

What goes “oooooooooo”?

Answer?

A cow with no lips


She replied:

dear dad I am sending you a high-ku

did you make that up

i mean did you make the joke

i really liked it


Back from me:

What a nice haiku.

You did very well young child.

I think you can stay.


Dad – Haiku’Master-san


And from her:

ah but can you beat

me in the art of haiku

old pupil daddy


If only she were Japanese, and it were a millennium or two ago, she would have a lot of potential.

Thoughts From An Email Exchange

While home for lunch today, I received the following email from Erika...

Dear dad I can;t tell you all that much right now because I have a ton of e-mail that i have to answer right now but I promise I will get back to you as soon as possible,
Love,
Erika

----

This was in reference to the following email I had sent her:

Are you having a great time?

Can’t wait to hear all your stories.

I love you.

Dad

-------

Thoughts:

1) I don't ever remember being overwhelmed by email when I was 8 years old. Granted, the late 70's were a bit slow on the email front, but I'm not sure I remember being overwhelmed by anything when I was 8.

2) The email she is referencing is one I sent her a couple of months ago when she was up with her grandparents in Indiana. Those were the stories I was looking forward to hearing. She seems to have missed the date stamp in the midst of her frenzied email-answer-a-thon and thinks this is a current email from me.

3) I saw Erika yesterday afternoon. It doesn't seem to surprise her that I would be waiting anxiously to hear all of the stories that have accumulated in her life in the last 14-20 hours. Granted, it's summer and she's doing what kids do during the summer, that is to say very little, but still she will have stories to tell.

4) I actually am looking forward to hearing them.

Very Quick Update

Farmor and Farfar have come to visit us in Memphis. Amid the rest of the chaos, we went to Mud Island today to see a scaled down replica of the mighty Mississippi River, along with other downtown Memphis landmarks.

Only In Memphis

Joel came home from walking to Chick-fil-a. He was scared and had no food.

When dad asked him why he didn't have any food he said, "There was a cow, a D.J. and Elvis."

And so dad and me went with him with courage and numbers to get the food. As it turns out, there WAS a cow, D.J. and Elvis. It was the 50's costumers' appreciation night. There was also karaoke.

We got the food and left as fast as we possibly could.

Daily Rituals

A new daily ritual to our lives. This is similar to the device in Erika's mouth, and every morning, we will be inserting a pin into those holes to rotate the device 1/4 turn (approx .2 millimeter). One down, 4 months' worth to go.

Most Serious Yet

Today I had a very serious appliance at my orthodontist Dr. Buildings office. As you can see from the pictures they're pretty serious. Anyway where you see a bottom retainer I only have to wear it in the night. But the top one is actually glued to my teeth, and no I'm not joking they really glued it on.

Anyway that little thing I am holding is a little cleaner thing what is does is those little things on the side actually move they make the brush move back and forth so that it can get everything it needs to get. Anyway if you want to make a comment or have any questions just type them on the COMMENT button.

Growing Old

Joel's Promotion Day today... from now on he's a 6th grader. Well, once he completes his extended vacation. More pictures and videos to follow.

like the song?

Last sat., Erika did a self made play. She's the one in the jersy, it's FUNNY.

A Crew Contribution

We set up a new fish tank recently. When we do this, we purchase a few fish... they are typically given names like "ToughLuck", "Fodder", etc. Our last round involved "Thing 1" and "Thing 2."

Here's the story of one of the fish, as written by Joel, Erika, and I.

A fish named Posidon we knew
Who's original name was "Thing 2"
He outlasted his friend
Who died in the end
So tonight we'll have "Thing 2" stew

Happy Limerick Day

Today is the day we celebrate the invention of the limerick. In honor of the artform, here is a favorite:

There was an old man from Milan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so
He said, 'yes, I know.
But I always try to get as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.'